editor's note

Oh boy here we go again. I dont even remember the last time I updated but here you go! My last adventures have been kind of wierd, wrought with mental anguish and set backs. No worries dear readers i'm fine and im back on top! Actually i've nothing to complain about. So my friends thanks for reading and i look foward to entertaining all of you when you come out and visit.

The TAO of weird

Tao at the Venetian.
I was looking forward to reviewing this place for quite some time. Actually my first venture or exploratory mission out to Vegas in November, under strange and covert circumstances, almost bought me to TAO. My former associate had the passes but lacked the conviction. Bottle throwing was her specialty not a good skill to have under the watchful eyes of the Vegas underworld. Bob Schindler the Marketing VP at Tao had set my date and I up for the evening with passes and drinks. Prior to arriving at TAO I was at a local bar called the Tailspin, which I believed and later confirmed, had to do with airplanes. What a coincidence that tailspin should be the theme of the evening. I arrived to meet “Jane” at the Tailspin; her friends were there to support another friend whose band was playing 80’s hits. I needed a drink as some of you might just by reading this.
I got there about 930 and I was 2 sheets to the wind. “Jane’s” friends proved to be a nice group of professional teachers. In my vast experience, I’ve accumulated certain tidbits of factual information regarding people their professions and the level of madness those people will either endure or seek out. Teachers’ dear readers are probably the weirdest most driven people I’ve encountered and I should know, many of my personal friends are teachers. One look at them and you know that underneath the friendly smile and bilingual charm lies the heart of an animal so wild and unbound, that Allah be with you should you ever run into a pack of them during a massive Friday night happy hour. The casualty list would be as long as your arm. I should know I’ve dated a few the hot beasts!
Las Vegas teachers are no different; this night we drank shots of some strange brown stuff that did not go well with my Amstel Light. Nevertheless I am a trooper and I would not let myself look helpless and weak in front a ruthless pack of teachers. By 1130 we decided to leave which is just as well I was about 3 mins from leaving anyway. I was much too excited to be contained in this small environment. I needed to clash and my blood was up. If “Jane” wanted to go that was great and if she didn’t that was great too. She choose wisely, actually she seemed just as excited. “Let’s go I’m ready to party!” Oh Jesus just the words I dreaded…
TAO dear readers, is located at the Venetian Hotel and Casino on the Vegas Strip, if I remember correctly it is located on the second floor. If you’ve never been to the Venetian, think decadent post Renaissance pre Victorian décor. This is by far the most lavishly decorated hotel I’ve seen. I have been to the Bellagio; however this was something different altogether. Jane and I arrived in the midst of a massive throng of people dressed in their Sunday best ready to get into the fray. A few kind words to the bouncer and Bob the Marketing V.P. came down. We were given the passes, Bob apologized for not giving an interview “Were slammed dude.” “So am I partner”!


Immediately after entering we took an elevator either up or down I couldn’t tell..Neither could Jane we were off to the netherworld to conquer or be conquered. TAO is inspired from an assortment of Asian influences that comes to Vegas via New York. I didn’t go for the food, however rumor has it the Thai, Chinese and Japanese menu is pretty good. The place itself is huge over 42,000 feet! When we got off the elevator one of the bars was right in front with a strange collection of Buddha statues that were lit up with candles like an Asian Christmas without the white christian idol…I know weird but very cool. This place has it all, lush velvets and silks, they even have a 20 ft tall Buddha statue that floats in water!

We walked down a hallway that had very intimate seating along the walls covered with some netting and an occasional woman/prop sitting all alone in some pose. Very trendy. The main dance floor was packed with people mainly women. Jane and I were quickly served up some drinks and away we went. Dancing is fun especially when you know you’re so out of practice and rusty and you just don’t care. The 7 beers certainly helped.


TAO is a pretty good place definite major league material; the mix of people was so vast that there is no way to tell who’s a local and who’s a tourist. I saw no NASCAR tee’s so I assumed there were few locals! The overall experience was fun as hell..It certainly helped that I was there with an attractive female. This is one place you have to see to believe, like I said the décor alone is worth a look see. It reminded me of an Asian version of Dante’s Inferno and I was smack in the middle of it! The management is really well behaved and know what their doing that’s obvious! TAO is not your average meathead club this is HIGH SOCIETY all the way! I even wore cologne if that tells you anything!
HIGHLIGHTS
Great atmosphere the crowd is very high society and chilled out. The tone and look of the club is a “yeah we know its cool…buy a drink!” And I bought some drinks alright! Check the meatheads at the door. This place is swank and society minded which is ok as long as you bring money your cool. Another good thing I didn’t see many lame-asses wearing sunglasses. The bartenders are hot and attentive. The different rooms which play host to different music was welcomed, no top 40 nonsense and thankfully no House of Pain! We came, we danced, we drank (a lot), we conquered! A definite weird night, at about 400 am we headed out to the lobby to admire the paintings on the ceiling (Jane is an art teacher). I don’t remember what I said but no doubt it sucked she didn’t look impressed. We headed out and made plans to return! So yeah ill be back…
Ciao

Over the (ahem) Rainbow!

Rainbow Bar and Grill
4480 Paradise Road #100
Las Vegas, Nevada 89109.Tel:(702) 898.3525

After a pleasant time at Champagne’s came the bar I was sort of looking forward to reviewing.Rainbow bar and grill. For you San Diego readers (if there’s any left, this is not a Hillcrest bar) Rainbow Bar and Grill comes to Vegas via Los Angeles! The original Rainbow is located off Sunset Blvd in L.A. which caters to the L.A. rock and roll types. If you want celebrities this is where you’ll find them without paying 50.00 to get in. The bar is owned by brothers Bob and Jerry Greenberg who founded the original. These guys have the reputation and money to make Rainbow bar and grill a trendy but fun place to be in. Now when I got there the place was pretty packed yet I was told this was a slow night! Slow night? Slow night is an evening at the R-Bar this place was booming with rock and roll kids and hot women! I heard about this place from several people some are alive some not. They all agreed: “Dude you need to review Rainbow!”


So here I was the music was ok somewhat typical rock that you would hear on a Rock only station. I met up with general manager, he was generous with his time. The place he said was Rock and Roll with an “L.A. vibe, we cater to all kinds of people. Sometimes after big shows the musicians will eventually show up here and party.” So far so good. They offer proof with pics on the wall of Led Zeppelin, Motorhead and even Ozzy. Jesus this place can really turn someone loose. What I enjoyed was the openness of the bar. The bouncers were armed with pepper spray guns holstered at the hip for quick draw action against any Republican hacks. Yet the bouncers I spoke with were friendly and answered my questions with smiles. Even when I asked about the use of the pepper spray, they just smiled. Another cool thing was the drinks,they were modest about 5.00 bucks per drink. Not bad. The girls were outstanding. My bull pen session was working i'm glad I warmed up before I got here. This gave me the courage to speak to some of these hotties. As most places Rainbow offers a menu of upscale food, which means I didn’t have any. San Diego readers if you come out look me up and we’ll come here there is no where in S.D. like this. I haven’t been to the L.A. Rainbow but I can only imagine, with the violent and unstable levels of douchebaggery unique to L.A. this place would be better.


Highlights
Good crowd no nonsense. The wait staff and security is very friendly and accommodating to all their customers. The drinks are reasonable and there is much to look at my friends…much to look at. They have couches and guess what…you don’t have to pay 700.00 for a bottle to sit there! So I recommend the Rainbow bar and grill!
I need to get some sleep……

Gin Soaked @ the "R"

R-Bar
6000 W Charleston Blvd
Las Vegas, 89146(702) 259-0120
This will be a combo review since I’m getting tired and it’s late. The Las Vegas Weekly is a decent rag to get info on what’s happening in town. They are slaves to their ads and the masters who pay them. Who isn’t these days? Our whole country is being sold off the Chinese and we don’t mind a bit. Don’t get me wrong I love the Chinese I don’t love the backward business dealings of our country by greedy Republican’s nor the lazy Democrats who stand by waiting for 2008. I don’t love Civil liberties that are slowly being eroded in the name of National Security. I hate the state of fear this country is living in. The perpetual feeding of fear into our daily lives by news and the media at large. In many ways the Terrorists did win on Sept 11 2001, now with the release of several 9/11 related movies, we can look forward to more fire stoking. Ok I’m done! According to L.V. Weekly the R-BAR located somewhere on the west side of the 15 is a spot worth checking out. In fact they noted that after 1200 am they have to actually buzz you in. This was part of the charm.


I stroll in at about 1100 I have an hour or so to kill before I head over to Rainbow Bar and Grill via the Champagne Lounge. I have my black blazer on and my socks match. I’m ready for action. The only action I would see in my 1 hour at R-Bar is asking the waitress why they have microscopes on the liquor shelf.
The R-Bar was established…actually I don’t know I didn’t ask. The place is locals and no tourist would be caught dead here. I found out that they are not the only bar in the area that buzzes people in…they all do! National Security is at stake and with so many irresponsible people roaming around claiming to be full blooded Americans no one can take any chances. No one even noticed when I walked in. Older crowd tonight, smoking Pall Malls 100’s. Sipping on speed rack Gin and Tonics, They are in mid frenzy depositing 20’s in the poker machines. No one is playing music on the jukebox. I almost found the courage to insert a dollar in the machine and play my kind of music. No way amigo,that would have been the last thing. Las Vegans are superstitious by nature, and why not they live in a city built on luck and broken purses. Any change in a routine and I might as well kiss my ass goodbye.
Highlights
Cheap ass drinks! I paid 2.50 for a Bacardi and Coke, I followed up with a Tanqaray and Tonic, that was all Gin and no tonic. I was getting drunk and my time here was done. I quietly ran out the door and headed south!


Champagne Cafe
3557 S. Maryland Pkwy.
Las Vegas, NV
(702) 737-1699
Every once in a while you find a spot where all your life questions are answered and in most cases the answers are found at the bottom of a strong Jack and Coke. These places are dive joints with no remorse some Southerners call these places Honky Tonks. I’ve never been to a Honky Tonk but I like to think they look like Champagne Cafe….at least I hope so. For San Diego readers imagine the Night Owl in Pacific Beach only way cooler and with girls that have all their teeth. They also offer… you guessed it…Karaoke! Michael Pasko found his truth at the Night Owl one scary night many years ago, right before we hit a motorcycle at 25 mph. I found him praying in one of the dirty bathroom stalls. Jack and Coke every time!

After the menace of R-Bar Champagne Cafe was a much welcomed change of pace. The bar was packed with an assortment of people singing and carrying on. I like dark places with little in the way of light. If the bar is cleverly decorated all the better. Champagnes was just that! Dark and moody with no pretenses. Some weirdo started talking to me so much about nonsense that I bought him a drink just to leave me alone….that’s how friendly this place is! I spoke with Peter the bartender who welcomed me and introduced me to the manger of the bar John Martinez. We spoke briefly in the kitchen and he spoke of his dreams for the place. Of course the Café is perfect as it is however John also works for Bally’s so his vision will entail some work and good old fashion elbow grease. Either way Champagne’s is nice little free standing bar that attracts all sorts of people. I arrived at just the right time which if I remember correctly was about 1230 am.
“Come by anytime we’ll set you up was John
"Marty" Martinez' reply to my quick goodbye. For San Diego readers think Lancers mixed with Zombie lounge.

Highlights
Nice people and good strong drinks for cheap. You can just chill and watch people get hammered. Ill come back to this place as bull pen session before I get into the game.